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Loss of Intamacy

Intimacy the loss of   I miss the moment of sharing essence the gap between our lips where we tasted each other's soul.  Energy crossed and created an electrical storm around us.  The discovery of each other. over and over... You smell in this moment and how my skin tingled in every place your fingers drifted. I miss the vulnerability the freedom to let go entirely and wholly just be.. to want.. to feel.   I miss the freedom of this.  the unguarded nakedness of my being literally, and figuratively.  The wholeness of letting go, forgetting my name and just knowing I am yours.  The safety of this, the release .. the worth of the connection.  I grieve the loss of intimacy.  The feel of your breath upon my skin.. my back my bell .. my inner leg.  I miss what this means and the privilege that no one else is allowed.  That you as my person get the right to make me tremble with pleasure and quicken with anticipation.  you ge...
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Unrest in my bones

It's unrest in my bones.   I can't explain. A picture and urge. The calling.. a haunting voice that I can't quite hear.  Be it family time, TV playing our show.. watching swimming of my daughter.  The evil flashes across my mind.. the picture the thought .. then it's gone.. an iron taste in my mouth.  These happenings grew as the Blood Moon closed in. The power ... the pull .. the lives before in this winter's night.  I deny the power within me. I do not test it.
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Hiding my Demon.

Can I draw it from you?   My head hurt, the pain behind my eyes.   A tinge of nausea, the metal taste lingering and noise accompanied by a sharpness that trembled in my ears.   The question plays in my brain.  I DONT KNOW THAT I want you to see/feel consume it.. my darkness.    I answer w I'm not sure you want to do that. as she grabs my wrist.. and I feel the energy.  Light..easy.." shhh" as I reactively push against the foreign energy.  'Demon" I whisper and find the vault shove him in..  I look to my friend who knows the taste and sense of darkness, I see the look in her eyes of "that's quite a headache"  ..  I am hoping that is all that was felt.  Not the brimstone, the green flame, the monster that dwells within.   My friend looks a bit pale and green .. price that goes with the energy exchanged..  I physically ..mentally feel better.. I am grateful.. but not sure I wanted my friend to carry t...
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My Apparitions : Hauntings of the Mind

In the last 24 hours.. I have traveled time with the apparitions of my past, present future.   It's an easy thing to do when driving across the "flatlands" of Indiana ..Letting my mind drift scenes from childhood, voices .. feelings accompany me on the ride breaking through the music to come to the front of my conscience.   1.5 hours each way .  Driving to my town of Origin. Logan is a good enough place, and honestly was the small town of heart warming movies where you could be a kid and ride your bike across bridges , all over and you were safe. Parenting was done by when the street lights came on, otherwise if it was warm enough to not get frostbite you were outside with friends.   And like all small communities, we had our secrets.  Some of us though twice about going home when the lights came on not for the fun we were having but for what awaited us.  The sins of the father passed down via violent hand, slaying of the verbal, out rig...
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Call

Sisters of blood Sisters of night We call out to you Purified by moonlight. Sanguine thirsts Steele raised high Take the offering in the pyre Imbue us with stealth and power In this our witching hour..
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Nebulous

I stand here with him looking into the swirling void.  Talking casually about life's lessons. This epicenter..sparks enter and leave.  I know this place but I don't..thousands of names, home heaven genesis.. we stand talking as two friends would by a campfire or over coffee.. in this place between worlds..on the edge of creation.   I know I have stood here before.. I look at the vastness the embers of soul new and old whizzing by and perceive it like sunsets ..back oh yes back in life.. and I wake up at 331 AM .. a swirling nebulous in my head.. My dreams are of conversations.. lately with death.  I can not recollect about what but i know who.  We talk as if friends who know each other's inner workings, comfortable.  It's not my time ..but I have visited here, possibly the closeness my father has been, maybe it's about a pesky contract negotiation.. I should be alarmed but I am not and the memory and content are blurred just out of reach. It annoy...
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To Want and Love

I gaze at her .. wanting missing.. the void between us is large.   Her scent, the feel of her skin beneath my fingers.. Her lips the way they meld with mine.. the mingling of the essence in the air just before our lips touch...   God, I crave this.. Her firm but gentle touch or even tug.. Just to have her pinky glide across mine..  the thought makes my chest hurt.. I hurt because she sits before me and we have not had this in a year. My heart wants to pour itself out in the distance between us, flood the space, and hope that she bathes in it.. even lingers.. But I do not have the energy for the rejection, for the pain both hers and mine.  So I sit over her on the couch.  I sit over here against the door in the truck. ..Continuing to respect the void and distance.. I feel as if you want nothing of me.  I feel as if you are only here because there is nowhere else.  That you get if you leave, you jeopardize losing SAM and I am a necessar...
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